8 Pitfalls on the Path to Success

Avoid these eight "traps," and your long-term success is assured.

I recently received an e-mail from the motivational speaker and real estate investor Paul LeJoy. He's been wildly successful in real estate sales and has mentored and worked with dozens of entrepreneurs.

In his e-mail, LeJoy identified eight pitfalls that lie athwart every pathway to success. His thoughts were so deep and insightful that I edited them and condensed them:

1. Timidity

Every path to success begins with a great idea. There's only one problem: Great ideas are a dime a dozen. What really matters when it comes to becoming a success is not having the idea but having the courage to transform that idea into reality. This usually means a risk of losing the security of a regular job and risking a steady paycheck. Only the brave ever overcome this first of the pitfalls.

2. Laziness

Even with a great idea and the courage to pursue it, your efforts will be for naught unless you're willing to take massive action. Write down your goals and (more important) the action steps you'll take to pursue those goals. Post your vision and plan in your bedroom, bathroom, office. Share it with others, so they'll hold you accountable for delivering on your plan. Make yourself accountable and become the master of your destiny.

3. Complacency

Without passion, even the most compelling vision will wither on the vine. Without passion, your energy and enthusiasm will flag when you encounter inevitable obstacles. Make your passion into an almost physical characteristic of your personality, an inexorable force that keeps you engaged every moment of every workday, bringing you one step closer to the measure of success that you desire.

4. Distraction

The modern world clamors for your attention in ever-louder ways, a deluge that can distract you from your course. It takes self-discipline to persevere amidst the noise and haste, to assert your willpower over casual desires and instincts. Channel your emotions, behavior, and desires toward obtaining the reward of success. Remember: Living a life of self-discipline is less painful in the long run than regretting "what might have been."

5. Doubt

Once you've made a decision, doubt is a worm that eats away at your ability to succeed. Life and work can be hard and even cruel. Remember, the race is not for the swift but rather those who persevere. Rather than allowing doubt to seep in and poison your process, you owe it to yourself to remain confident in your vision and your plan. Adapt as needed along the way, but always know that success will ultimately be yours.

6. Disconnection

The old sayings "no man is an island" and "there's strength in numbers" may sound corny, but that doesn't make them any less true. Even with self-discipline, in the long run, you'll need contact with kindred spirits and mentors. Meeting regularly can be a great boost to your morale and provide new perspectives on your approach. The Internet makes it extraordinarily easy to find a coach, mentor, or mastermind group that can provide the emotional support, experience, and wisdom to help turn your vision into reality.

7. Dishonesty

As you begin to be successful, you'll be tempted to lie, exaggerate, and deceive in order to move your agenda forward. However, taking the easy way of dishonesty has a tendency to sneak back up on you. In the end, it causes far more problems than taking the risk of telling the truth. True success comes when you are a person of your word, when you have a pure conscience, and when you have not cheated others on your way to the top.

8. Ingratitude

The final pitfall is by far the most dangerous, because it's so easy to miss. When your vision becomes a reality, you are still a failure if you cannot remember your humble beginnings or recognize the contributions of those who helped you along the way. Remember: There is no such thing as a self-made billionaire. If you can't experience gratitude, you might as well have stayed exactly where you started.

Few valuable thoughts …

 

[24-Nov-11]

This thought was shared by my Boss …

“Compliments” to any person should be given in generic, however, “Criticism” should always be done with specific example, incident or situation.

Great Love Story of Narayana Murthy (Infosys) with Sudha

Every man needs a woman to motivate him and to give him a reason to live....

Love Story of Narayana Murthy (Infosys Founder) and Sudha (From Sudha's Autobiography)

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco (Tata Motors). Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy, bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m. at Green Fields hotel on the Main Road,Pune.

The next day I went there at 7'o clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him... And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murty as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I knew this as it. It was coming. He said, I am 5'4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I asked Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to marry a wannabe politician, (a communist at that) who didn't have a steady job and wanted to build an orphanage...

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications etc. Murty was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go Dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day at 10 a.m. sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi (though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.

Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the world's most reputed companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt to me.. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding.

The amount was a little over Rs 4000. During this interim period Murty quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni computers in Bombay .. But before he joined the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now.

We were married in Murty's house in Bangalore on February 10, 1978 with only our two families present. I got my first silk sari. The wedding expenses came to only Rs 800 (US $17) with Murty and i pooling in Rs. 400 each.

I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem. Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did not have any business background ... Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him. Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have only three years!

Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house.

In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore. Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters. My father presented Murty a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.

It was like a big joint family,taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.

Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's request..I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focused on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.

I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success..

Great na.... That's the Power of Love.

Every man needs a woman to motivate him and to give him a reason to live....

Ladder to Successful Leader

For progressing peacefully, a professional has to build harmonious relationship not only with his boss and his team, but also with his peer group.

Success and happiness of a professional in organization can metaphorically be explained with a triangle. The area of a triangle does not grow unless all the three sides of the triangle grow in similar proportion. Same is with life. Unless our relationship with our team members, our boss and our peers grow, we can’t be a happy & successful professional. While building relationships with people in world outside is important, it is the harmonious relationship that you build with these three key stakeholders at the work place that will determine your peace as a professional.

Mr. Rangnathan, a very successful entrepreneur shares his personal experience with us, how he improvised himself and his team to  deal with other business units to smoothen the communication between them.

Mr. Rangnathan said;

"In the year 2000, I was working in a telecom company, based at Hyderabad, heading the business control functions. I was very successful not only as an individual, but, my department was also doing exceedingly well. We won awards for being the best department across the country. Though functionally we were competent, within the business unit our department did not emerge as the best support function, the internal customer surveys indicated that our department was considered aggressive and dominating.

Being in an industry that is highly dependent on customer satisfaction, internal customer satisfaction was as important as external customer satisfaction. As a leader of the department I was determined to do something to rebuild the image of the department and to win the hearts of people in other departments. I was convinced that the department is as good or as bad as the leader and the behavior of the leader directly influences the department.

On introspection I realized the following:

• As a leader, with my strong view points, I was dominating in all meetings.
• While my intention was never to pinpoint the mistakes, my actions tended to reflect the same.
• My dominant behavior caught on to the entire team and as a result, the team became aggressive.
• While I used to give solutions, the tone with which I gave the solutions made me unapproachable to others.
• As a leader I was not open to constructive feedbacks and so the team could not take criticism
• As a department we always projected ‘we were right and others were not’. So other departments waited for an opportunity to hit back at us.
• With the feeling that we are ‘watchdogs’ of the organization, we used to question everything, without giving proper reasoning for the same. This resulted in people branding us as problem finders.
• While other departments were not happy, they chose not to antagonize us as they were dependent on our services. This resulted in buried frustrations at ground level, with no trust.

I also realized that if I have to transform the department, first I have to transform myself and I decided to lead from the front. As a team we agreed to follow the four-step formula to transform ourselves – LEAD (Listen, Empathize, Assert and Dependable). Keeping this in mind, I first started imbibing certain key qualities that would make me more approachable as a person and it has a cascading effect on my entire team.

As a Leader	Team
‘Started listening and respecting others’ views	‘Became more responsive to others’ needs
Empathizing with peer views enabled me to focus on the solution that the problem	Started exploring alternative solutions instead of saying a firm ‘no’ to others
Started walking up to other departments, rather than calling them to my desk	Proactive interactions with other team members to discuss issues collectively
Showed genuine interest in implementing the feedbacks to build mutual trust	Too constructive criticism with open mind and was willing to change
Institutionalized quarterly feedback mechanism from all peers	Monthly interactive session with all other departments to iron out pending issues
Put efforts in not criticizing others when in the sway of emotion	Major confrontation in the open between departments were avoided
Without aggression, but with assertiveness, issues were discussed	Never compromised on the process, but while saying ‘No’ reasoning was given
Not only gave commitments, but also ensured that commitments were honored on time	‘Promise less and deliver more’ was the mantra to show we are dependable

As a result of all these measures, TEAM building became the culture of our department. We became not only the best supporting department, but also the most respected department within the business unit. This led to members from other departments wanting to be part of our department. The learning from the whole experience was that more than ‘dominating aggression’; the key to get the respect of other departments is to work with ‘directed assertiveness’.

Spark !!! Keep it Alive

This is my first post for this blog. So I thought to start with a very well-known, young dynamic author Mr. Chetan Bhagat

This is a true inspirational speech delivered by Chetan at Symbiosis, Pune.I am not very sure about the place where he delivered this speech. The message delivered in this is surely very inspiring. Here goes his speech...

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated.

The first day in college is one of them.

When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the Spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today.

Today I am going to talk about keeping this spark shining else to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start?

I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party several months in advance just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost.

So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms. To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you.

It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house. Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good.

If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals.

Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since.

Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live?

Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends.

Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck.

There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damn lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

 

Isolation - Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them.

Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today.

That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You.

Chetan Bhagat

 

This was a superb motivational speech delivered by Chetan Bhagat. Everyone do keep Spark within you alive... Happy Day :)

Keep reading this blog for more such messages... Don't forget to post your comments.